Sauna
We finns have this tradition of spanking ourself with a birch whip in a hot (not steamy) dark room and after that go outside to -20C degrees and do some ice swimming or rolling in the snow.

Oh how I miss that and OH how I love my gym's sauna! Couple of days ago after my gym workout I couldn't wait to get to sauna and when I got to ladies locker room I quickly got rid of my sweaty pants and got my towel and ran to the glass doors.... when I saw this british lady with her damn newspaper and spectacles in the sauna. HERESY! Temperature must have been close to the room temperature and because I'm polite, civilized person the inner crazy finn just can't go inside that glass box and be like "you wan't to know what a REAL SAUNA is like?!" and start throwing water on the rocks.  You just simply can't do that. So I turned my back at her and had a nice warm shower and with tears in my eyes and trembling lower lip walked home feeling all blue...

I haven't noticed before how important sauna really is to me. Not just the relaxation but the real meaning of sauna: All can be washed away in sauna. Stress, illness, worries, muscle pain, nightmares, men problems... anything!

Sauna has it's place in finnish culture: Childbirth? in Sauna! Getting married? Bridal Sauna it is! Somebody dies? Wash the body in sauna before burial! Bad illness? No worries Sauna will deal with that! And because finnish men really don't talk that much so confessions and deep conversations are actually made in the Sauna...

These films may enlighten the subject a bit more:
Sauna - Wash your sins movie trailer
Steam of life trailer

That's why I'm glad to get back to my gym (and sauna) routines!

Saara popped into London with the best timing. No matter how long it has been since we last time saw it always feels like there hasn't been any gaps between our conversations! So there we were in my local bar Magic garden enjoying some quality sider and beer and each others company. Oh those memories of our time together in basic and secondary schools... what people we know do nowadays.. how things have changed... Where are we now in our life's and yet there is still a lot ahead of us! It really did good to have some one next to you who knows you really well and reflect your life situation and get some questions solved.


You yourself can effect your own life quality pretty much I must say. You decide where you live/work, with whom you hang around with, who you welcome to your life and what things develop from that. Even if your heart tells completely opposite occasionally you just have to be rational! It may sound harsh but I'm personally fed up with people and their excuses to things that make their life complicated: "My boyfriend did...", "Well I have dark hair so...", "I'm too stupid..", "Well that guy still..." Skip the bad and lousy excuses and be in control of your own life and responsible of your own actions! HA!

It's really good to face your nice and not so nice sides: Last friday I again found myself alone at home and used the change to relax and have mani-pedi-facial done and of course take care of that that odd mousey greyish dark blonde root growth! It was supposed to be good and gently solution for scandinavian hair type and just to brighten up the dull color... after 30min I realize that a albino is staring at me from the mirror.

At the first change when my flatmate Vilja called to see if I was home I started to cry on the phone that I have destroyed my hair and that world has come to an end! And when she came home she looked at me with this faint smile on her face: "Is that what you called "destroying your hair?!...".

(Yes! It's bye bye natural blonde and welcome peroxide blonde! )

I actually woke her up the following morning to assure myself that my hair looked alright. She wasn't too happy about it and 20min later I returned to her room keeping my head high and admitting that I have behaved like a drama queen and really over reacted. Then I officially apologized my behavior and we both started laughing from the bottom of our hearts. I now admit that I have a tendency to act sometimes like a true diva and drama queen. But isn't that ok for women? If I'm most of the time a wonder woman isn't it ok to have my weak moments too?

So now I look at the bright side of al of this and aim to try the look of my idol...

 Marilyn Monroe! The most beautiful and femine woman who has ever walked on earth!

Finally challenged myself in one of my maybe most awkward fears. Those who know me and my habit to "take the stage" and "be in the spotlight" may think that I'm like a fish in the water in front of the people (underwear, fancy dress, nude...what ever!) when in fact I'm actually terrified of being in front of the camera.

So there I wen't in to this beauty studio where they did photo shoots too. Name of the game: Make over and pictures in at least 4 out fits. All that time I felt a bit horrified and my heart beat in my chest like a ADHD rabbit. First I sensed that the make up and hair artist thought that I would be one of those individuals that don't like anything too wild but got really excited when I really let him do what he wanted. God damn! I don't have any idea how the make up, hair or anything looks like in pictures so let the professionals do what they have to do! (Btw first time in my life to have fake lashes...)

Photographer was amazing and I felt absolutely relaxed with him. They told me that there should be pretty good results and when I first saw all the pictures I started giggling hysterically. It was really odd to see that girl in the pictures posing like a real model in various poses. Good pictures... Over 20 of those! He must have taken about 30 pictures so I have to admit that that photographer certainly knew what he was doing.  Unfortunately I couldn't get all the pictures myself.

For some reason I have always felt like from the pictures people would only see what I look alike and not what I really am, what I'm feeling or thinking. WRONG! America's next topmodel isn't that much of a fiction. You have to know how to smize and follow photographers intructions. You have to be the tabula rasa!

Anyway I certainly recommend everyone to have a photo shoot like that! Especially if you feel a bit unsure about yourself or your body. (Or just uncomfortable in front of the camera like I did...) This really opens up your eyes in a completely different way.

My move to London has exposed to be a journey to get to know myself better too. It may sound quite egoistic but if you think about it more carefully it all starts to make sense. Challenge yourself, take yourself out of your comfort zone, start to notice how you react in challenging situations and try to understand why you react that way. The more you understand your behavior, thinking and your own feelings the easier understanding others will get.

And just to avoid being too serious and metaphysical here's pictures of studying in my way:

All over my bed in the evening and still there when I wake up in the morning= Single girls dreams come true!

These little notes have found their way in my biochemistry book and finally it all seems to make a lot more sense to me! Thank you british odd sense of humor and bad dark jokes! 

Finland, Finland, Finland...The land of depressed alcoholics and 22h winter nights!

Oh how I long for the beauty in silence, rough edged people who rarely spent time in small talk and the rain that even in it's smallest form srikes to your bones and soul making you shiver under your 5 layers of clothes...

Thank god my short visit to Finland is already behind and I'm back in London!

My dearest brother visited me 1 day before my flight to Helsinki. He explained that it was some sort of business trip but I still doubt that. I know my family! Our business trips are usually only based on eating, drinking and socializing. And we even get paid for that!

Actually his visit was a good soft landing back to finnish language because for some reason I have adapted a speedy-con-chales style to speak and usage of singing like style of pronouncing words which really isn't that finnish at all.

So there we were at Hard Rock Cafe London enjoying the time together. And because my brother is a well paid working man nowadays he surprised me by saying: - "Perkele! (finnish word with a lot of strength) I'm going to feed you and make sure that you drink too!

The waiter has the time of his life joking about my appetite compared with my brothers and his colleagues:

"You wan't another portion?... with that appetite it'll be free for you!"
"Are you sure that that is enough for you?..."

Some salmon on a rice bed. Delicious! (salmon is surprisingly expensive in London..)

Guess who's dessert is on the left and who's on the right?...

I can always trust my big bro to look after me even thought there's miles between us.

People who know me wouldn't be surprised that I almost missed my flight. Yes... again for some reason I thought that I had tons of time to do packing and cooking berofe leaving the house but I ended up having only 30min to do all that! Thank god I got in to my buss on time and there were no problems what so ever. In the airplane I got so lucky with the seating that there were no-one sitting next to me (I usually get a very talkative drunk man sitting next to me and a ADHD child behind me kicking my seat 24/7) and I even got the aisle seat! Thanks Norwegian! The flight between London and Helsinki is actually pretty inexpensive when you know when to book those flights. Book 6 months in advance OR about 1-1.5 months in advance to get the best deal. I got my return flight with 89€ plus the luggage there and back all together  113€!

The flight took 3 h and thankfully my sisters man gave me a lift from the airport to home and in no time I was in the only paradise that I know at the moment:  My parents flat, a mattress on my old rooms floor  + a fridge full of food! Good butter (English don't know how how to make proper butter), russian garlic pickled cucumber, salami, milk... and coffee!

I actually once saw a dream about finnish coffee. in that dream it was world known and sold in a luxury section of food stores. Restricted amount of people had the privilege to buy that coffee. Talking about addictions...

Well at first landing to Finland felt like popping in to  silent movie. Everybody talked and moved slowly, there wasn't that much traffic and I'm not lying! Everything was GREY! It was slightly rainy day in finland and the rain AGAIN got in to my bones.

Cultural shocks kept on coming when I step in to this bus driven by this young male with a metal rock look. I was the only passenger with this old granny. It was grey, cold, rainy, nothing moved and the only thing that you could hear was the radio. Guess what channel the driver listened to? Radio Rock of course! And in Finland rock isn't about this cheery kind of british pop that they call Rock in here London but have deeper and darker touch to it. In that moment I really felt like being in Finland.

Visiting my old university was one highlight of my trip. It actually felt like nothing has changed. I joined the classes for short time period and immediately felt like getting back to routines. It was lovely to see everybody and have a chat how's it going etc.

I visited my grand mom and lovely chat with her. Again she forgot that I can't eat gluten (she offered a piece of her famous apple pie for me) and again she asked me to change some curtains for her. Every time I get there one thing is for sure: I'll change some curtains! But have to admit that that woman has one of the best eyes and taste in decorating and design and I'm always ready to help her.

Family pub night
It's a tradition to go to a pub on friday nights, talk deeply about matters that influence our family structure and sing some karaoke. It was a bit hilarious to sing finnish karaoke with a slight english accent. I have no idea what has happened but it actually felt a bit weird to sing in finnish and the way words are pronounced in the art of singing is a completely different world. I sang well but lacked the depth of the songs. It was nice to see familiar faces and notice that not much has changed.

Mom gamling again and dad following the situation.

Wedding
My friends wedding is actually THE reason why I travelled to Finland in the end of September.  I originally planned to travel to Finland in August or closer to christmas. (But if Sari commands I'm there and ready!)

My dad laughed at me in the morning when I again faced a bad hair day as usually when I try to curl my hair. My hair is the kind of hair that does everything that you don't really want it to do. So there I was almost 2 hours with these plastic rolls in my head and when I opened them... Tat ta daa! Half-wet-semi-curly mess! I had no other choice but to do my famous messy birds nest hair due. Ise borrowed me this really lovely dress. So when going to the wedding I looked like a pretty 25 year old fairy.

cutting the cake

The waltz

The wedding was a humble and beautiful. Small ceremony with amazing reception. Food? Delicious! Wine? Delicious! And the people? Amazing and delicious!

I accidentally got the bridal bunch with is a bit like a sarcastic joke. Me?! Old maid living in London? Well I have a year to find a husband for myself!

I'm happy for them both and they truly deserve each others and will always have a place in my heart. (Again: If Sari commands I'm in Finland in no time!)


After the wedding I found my way to the Helsinki's wild night and had the time of my life and had to pay the following two days for it. (Didn't feel that much pretty fairy after that!) I saw most of my friends and got the change to hug all of them and load the batteries till the next time I get the chance to see them. (I'm still wondering how did the bouncers let me in to the bars in that condition. Maybe they still remembered me from my last visits in those places last spring. Is that a good or bad?

I'm glad that my sisters man actually gave me and my sister a lift to my other sisters new house. The smallest kid had so much fun having a hungoverish auntie laying on the floor who every now and then turned around. Driving a truck and placing a stool on me. Nice..

I'm glad that my sister finally have her own house (even thought there's still  lot to do) and beautifull family. She's such a big mama and always looking after everybody in our family. I always fell like home visiting her and never leave without something with me like this time some gluten free stuff.

There's a lot to bring from Finland. I actually now remembered to bring my MoccaMaster but guess what.... I forgot the damn pot on that thing so I'll be using this big mug which actually works pretty well!

My new lucky carm!

I'll be missing those hangoverish gluten-free burger moments that you can't enjoy in London. There we were with Anne. Sitting in the Kaisniemi park, enjoying each others company, talking shit, eating trash food and worshipping the sun! I'll cherish that moment in my heart just like the moment of eating Susanna's super spicy curry at her studio in Eira and again whining about men and wondering what runs in their minds and the having a look to the philosophic magical wonders of getting out of Helsinki and life situations with Laura in Kamppi Kaakaopuu cafe.

Hesburger and famous gluten-free burger. Yammy!

In conclusion: Finland will always have a place in my heart and my family and friend in Finland will keep on seeing me quite frequently  but at the same time something has already changed in me.  The welcoming atmosphere at work and colleagues who are always ready for a laugh, my university which keeps my focus on it's iron tight but at the same time loving fist preparing me to be the best professional I can be and my adorable flatmates and my sanctuary: THE cosy bed, MY bed in MY room are the things that really make London my home. Not to forget my gym with amazing personel and relaxing finnish sauna!

Yes! I have been here only for a few months and you would think that this would feel more and less like a very long holiday but no... I have a place I can call home.