For months I been thinking about the wordless messages I send to others to be read. No guys, not that flirting thingy with dirty eye winks, sex appeal and lustful expressions that I tend to do apparently 24/7 according to your reactions.... but those even more settle messages. (Why on earth I otherwise would receive so straightforward questions and sometimes questionable messages?) The way you walk, look at the ground while walking or other peoples eyes, what you do with your hands and so on. Universally the body language is pretty much the same but the appreciation of boldness and humble shy modesty may vary.
That's what I think is completely wrong with me!
First of all it would be better that I would walk in a sluggish way so that no-one else around me would feel offended by my posture. My bubbliness can also be offensive in these depressing times. But the worst is probably my way to dance and laugh all the time because everyone of us knows that it's one of the biggest sins is to be happy if you don't have 80 000 billions in cash, 20 known BIG cars, your not a know movie-star, producer, model etc. have a personal trainer and other staff looking after you!
But there's even more to it:
In UK people seem to be obsessed about the social classes and which class they belong to. If you're born in the UK you can usually smell, see, some how know with your 6th sense in which group the others belong to because it doesn't matter where you belong to as long as your above others!
Traditionally you were in working-class, middle-class or one of the more equal ones: Upper class. Each class seem to love to socialize only with the others in their class and love to aim to be on the top ranked ones in their class.
There are do's and don'ts in the classes and there's the one thing I fail all the time. For example I love all sort of music (jazz, gypsy folk, rock, pop etc) , wearing a lot of colors and thrift shopping and in UK it's just not that IN to recycle things, take the environment to notion and therefore shop secondhand. (FACT: In this consumer culture companies don't want to manufacture anything that lasts so everything new seems to break in no time. Second hand usually better quality now a days.) People in UK are still so absurd when it comes to nudity and bare feet that lets not even go to that... So my open mindedness in cultural/more physical things makes me a kind of urban gypsy. Gypsies are considered to be in the lower ranks in the social class system . (WHY?!) But wait a second: I know who Dorian Grey is, have read the Odyssey etc. and speak 4 languages. That's not all! My english accent is apparently slightly more posh. So what does that make of me?!
No wonder I can't find a man! The poor guys are completely puzzled what to do with me!
In the Scandinavian countries and in Finland there's no such a thing as class system. A slight system but eventually everyone has the equal change to socialize with anybody and climb as high in the ranks as they want. You literally get all the possibilities to make your life anything you want to make of it. (YES we do have those individuals that instead of taking the responsibility of their own life, blame the society and just "hang around" making world a better place with different chemical triggers.) We are as strong as our weakest link philosophy works! If somebody in the "lower class" has a brilliant idea we use it to improve the system. (In companies it means that a lower rank workers gets an amazing idea that the managers decide to use to invest with the systems they got and BOOM! More money for the company and workers get more efficient in their work. Unlike in UK where innovative behavior is considered to be the biggest crime against the country and crown....)
This is one of the secrets how Scandinavia and Finland are internationally successful countries.
But loved ones we live in 21st century! Traditions are shattered and altered. For example traditionally with my background I would have been previously in the working class. Then in the middle class (on my way to the top!) but sweethearts it's not that easy anymore. Behold! I'm one of the emergent service workers. In english it means that I'm absolutely broke but socially and culturally on the top. Actually most of the people in this group are young and finding their place in the world A.K.A. students. Find out to which class you belong to!
Back in Finland studying is appreciated thing to do and you can switch careers at any point of you life. Individual development is always good! Over here the first thing that everybody asks after finding out that you study: "So...when do you graduate?".
Eventually the last few months have been the time for me when my rose tinted glasses has shattered into small little pieces and my heroic bohemian ideal of sacrificing everything (flat, career, belongings, relationships..) to finally follow my dreams looks like the most stupid things I could have ever done.
Expect as a idealistic bohemian individual I still stubbornly keep on believing that I did the right thing by following my heart. Suddenly it's so much easier to sleep and wake up in the morning (mostly) excited about the new day ahead.
