Finland, Finland, Finland...The land of depressed alcoholics and 22h winter nights!

Oh how I long for the beauty in silence, rough edged people who rarely spent time in small talk and the rain that even in it's smallest form srikes to your bones and soul making you shiver under your 5 layers of clothes...

Thank god my short visit to Finland is already behind and I'm back in London!

My dearest brother visited me 1 day before my flight to Helsinki. He explained that it was some sort of business trip but I still doubt that. I know my family! Our business trips are usually only based on eating, drinking and socializing. And we even get paid for that!

Actually his visit was a good soft landing back to finnish language because for some reason I have adapted a speedy-con-chales style to speak and usage of singing like style of pronouncing words which really isn't that finnish at all.

So there we were at Hard Rock Cafe London enjoying the time together. And because my brother is a well paid working man nowadays he surprised me by saying: - "Perkele! (finnish word with a lot of strength) I'm going to feed you and make sure that you drink too!

The waiter has the time of his life joking about my appetite compared with my brothers and his colleagues:

"You wan't another portion?... with that appetite it'll be free for you!"
"Are you sure that that is enough for you?..."

Some salmon on a rice bed. Delicious! (salmon is surprisingly expensive in London..)

Guess who's dessert is on the left and who's on the right?...

I can always trust my big bro to look after me even thought there's miles between us.

People who know me wouldn't be surprised that I almost missed my flight. Yes... again for some reason I thought that I had tons of time to do packing and cooking berofe leaving the house but I ended up having only 30min to do all that! Thank god I got in to my buss on time and there were no problems what so ever. In the airplane I got so lucky with the seating that there were no-one sitting next to me (I usually get a very talkative drunk man sitting next to me and a ADHD child behind me kicking my seat 24/7) and I even got the aisle seat! Thanks Norwegian! The flight between London and Helsinki is actually pretty inexpensive when you know when to book those flights. Book 6 months in advance OR about 1-1.5 months in advance to get the best deal. I got my return flight with 89€ plus the luggage there and back all together  113€!

The flight took 3 h and thankfully my sisters man gave me a lift from the airport to home and in no time I was in the only paradise that I know at the moment:  My parents flat, a mattress on my old rooms floor  + a fridge full of food! Good butter (English don't know how how to make proper butter), russian garlic pickled cucumber, salami, milk... and coffee!

I actually once saw a dream about finnish coffee. in that dream it was world known and sold in a luxury section of food stores. Restricted amount of people had the privilege to buy that coffee. Talking about addictions...

Well at first landing to Finland felt like popping in to  silent movie. Everybody talked and moved slowly, there wasn't that much traffic and I'm not lying! Everything was GREY! It was slightly rainy day in finland and the rain AGAIN got in to my bones.

Cultural shocks kept on coming when I step in to this bus driven by this young male with a metal rock look. I was the only passenger with this old granny. It was grey, cold, rainy, nothing moved and the only thing that you could hear was the radio. Guess what channel the driver listened to? Radio Rock of course! And in Finland rock isn't about this cheery kind of british pop that they call Rock in here London but have deeper and darker touch to it. In that moment I really felt like being in Finland.

Visiting my old university was one highlight of my trip. It actually felt like nothing has changed. I joined the classes for short time period and immediately felt like getting back to routines. It was lovely to see everybody and have a chat how's it going etc.

I visited my grand mom and lovely chat with her. Again she forgot that I can't eat gluten (she offered a piece of her famous apple pie for me) and again she asked me to change some curtains for her. Every time I get there one thing is for sure: I'll change some curtains! But have to admit that that woman has one of the best eyes and taste in decorating and design and I'm always ready to help her.

Family pub night
It's a tradition to go to a pub on friday nights, talk deeply about matters that influence our family structure and sing some karaoke. It was a bit hilarious to sing finnish karaoke with a slight english accent. I have no idea what has happened but it actually felt a bit weird to sing in finnish and the way words are pronounced in the art of singing is a completely different world. I sang well but lacked the depth of the songs. It was nice to see familiar faces and notice that not much has changed.

Mom gamling again and dad following the situation.

Wedding
My friends wedding is actually THE reason why I travelled to Finland in the end of September.  I originally planned to travel to Finland in August or closer to christmas. (But if Sari commands I'm there and ready!)

My dad laughed at me in the morning when I again faced a bad hair day as usually when I try to curl my hair. My hair is the kind of hair that does everything that you don't really want it to do. So there I was almost 2 hours with these plastic rolls in my head and when I opened them... Tat ta daa! Half-wet-semi-curly mess! I had no other choice but to do my famous messy birds nest hair due. Ise borrowed me this really lovely dress. So when going to the wedding I looked like a pretty 25 year old fairy.

cutting the cake

The waltz

The wedding was a humble and beautiful. Small ceremony with amazing reception. Food? Delicious! Wine? Delicious! And the people? Amazing and delicious!

I accidentally got the bridal bunch with is a bit like a sarcastic joke. Me?! Old maid living in London? Well I have a year to find a husband for myself!

I'm happy for them both and they truly deserve each others and will always have a place in my heart. (Again: If Sari commands I'm in Finland in no time!)


After the wedding I found my way to the Helsinki's wild night and had the time of my life and had to pay the following two days for it. (Didn't feel that much pretty fairy after that!) I saw most of my friends and got the change to hug all of them and load the batteries till the next time I get the chance to see them. (I'm still wondering how did the bouncers let me in to the bars in that condition. Maybe they still remembered me from my last visits in those places last spring. Is that a good or bad?

I'm glad that my sisters man actually gave me and my sister a lift to my other sisters new house. The smallest kid had so much fun having a hungoverish auntie laying on the floor who every now and then turned around. Driving a truck and placing a stool on me. Nice..

I'm glad that my sister finally have her own house (even thought there's still  lot to do) and beautifull family. She's such a big mama and always looking after everybody in our family. I always fell like home visiting her and never leave without something with me like this time some gluten free stuff.

There's a lot to bring from Finland. I actually now remembered to bring my MoccaMaster but guess what.... I forgot the damn pot on that thing so I'll be using this big mug which actually works pretty well!

My new lucky carm!

I'll be missing those hangoverish gluten-free burger moments that you can't enjoy in London. There we were with Anne. Sitting in the Kaisniemi park, enjoying each others company, talking shit, eating trash food and worshipping the sun! I'll cherish that moment in my heart just like the moment of eating Susanna's super spicy curry at her studio in Eira and again whining about men and wondering what runs in their minds and the having a look to the philosophic magical wonders of getting out of Helsinki and life situations with Laura in Kamppi Kaakaopuu cafe.

Hesburger and famous gluten-free burger. Yammy!

In conclusion: Finland will always have a place in my heart and my family and friend in Finland will keep on seeing me quite frequently  but at the same time something has already changed in me.  The welcoming atmosphere at work and colleagues who are always ready for a laugh, my university which keeps my focus on it's iron tight but at the same time loving fist preparing me to be the best professional I can be and my adorable flatmates and my sanctuary: THE cosy bed, MY bed in MY room are the things that really make London my home. Not to forget my gym with amazing personel and relaxing finnish sauna!

Yes! I have been here only for a few months and you would think that this would feel more and less like a very long holiday but no... I have a place I can call home.

It has been a long time since I updated my blog. But honestly... my life isn't that exciting and sometimes you just have to think before you write. (Yep.. sometimes I actually think

before I let the words come out of my mouth. Approximately 0.09% of the time.) 

I have learned something completely new about finnish culture! Even thought we  don't talk that much  and use words like "lovely, darling, please, would you mind... etc" - all the time we really are truly polite people! And why is that?.

1. We let people to be on a bad mood when ever they want without forcing them to be "oh-so-super-duper-fake-happy all the time by asking the "how are you?" 24/7. (It's not polite to answer "Actually I feel like shit...")

2. We take it as a full granted that when asking a person will pass you the salt, open the door, assist you without using super-sugary please/darling/sweetheart words. (Oh we do use a bit more kinder words but without all that sugariness) Just like talking to some one on your level, not superior or lower. That just how the world runs.

3. When calling we always (most of the time) introduce ourself and what business we have.

In England: "Is Melanie/Sam/John there?". What the F*** behavior is that? 

If in previously introduced case I answer the phone I assume that:

A the person on the phone knows who Melanie etc. is

B That Melanie probably knows who's calling.  

But they usually have no idea who's calling and the person calling is sometimes just throwing names or just pronouncing names incorrectly. 

That's why my next job is to learn to ask who's on the phone and what they want what is really hard for me because I have learned that asking direct questions from a person I don't know is rude (because in Finland they usually introduce themselves on the phone the questions are not necessary..) and keeping my nose out of the things that are not my business is the thing to do because I trust that the people will surely tell me if there is something that I need to know.

I actually could be a perfect assistant for those who who want to keep the "secrecy"....  Time to fill some job applications! 

4. Answering the phone... Since when it has been smart to answer the phone by saying "HI!, Hello, YEAH?" Don't you usually say your name when answering? How else would the person calling know that they have phoned to the right number?!

Like you know I have been crazy about the variety of museums here. Couple of weeks ago I visited the The Science Museum.  

   

 

 

All that time I just kept on thinking: "Where did we go wrong?... Where the science went wrong?". In order to explain and control everything we try to measure everything. And in order to measure something we have to control it and put it in a box to do so and does everything work in a box the same way as in wild?.. What happened to the good old fashion observing? That's what Newton,  Da Vinci, Drawing etc. did!

Me and my wondering mind!  

                                     

A lot of things to see and experience but my own sweet wet dream situated in the upstairs The Science and Art of Medicine. It's a shame it has been placed in a kind of "corner" of the museum. Hard to reach No wonder there were only a few visitors upstairs! And it really is a good exhibition...  

History of medicine shown in those small artifacts! From healing spells to surgery knives! How fascinating it is to realize how cold and technological now a days medicine is. Where's the love and understanding? Don't get me wrong. I occasionally hug trees and run around like a proper 60's hippie preaching about universal understanding but I do practice ice cold logical thinking and I do respect the modern medicine but the obsession that modern scientist have in measuring and controlling everything has gone a bit too far when it comes to human body. We still don't know how everything works in the body and still we keep on trying to control it through pills (drugs, hormones..) and technology even thought it has been working all by itself for hundreds of thousands years  (processing food, healing, reproducing...). And we shouldn't forget that every human body has their own fine "tone" they work in. Making things even more complex!  And still we want to give some average limits to everything and again CONTROL IT! That doesn't make any sense to me.  Therefore I personally evaluate (like a proper student) every patient as their own and then make my conclusions and try to improve the body function.

But back to the subject of living in London! Let me introduce you to my favorite shopping place in London Lewisham! TK-Max there has the best shoe collection I have seen. Primark isn't stuffed with simple and crazy people (A.K.A. tourists) and if you need a little of market athmosphere. Right there! £1 bowl of fruits, fake handbags, street market make-up kits.... What ever you need! Lewisham is actually ok place to be. I still wouldn't walk there all by myself at nights.

Now I can officially say that my honeymoon with London has come to an end. No more pink shade visions of the people. The name of the game is" welcome back to the reality!". I thought that the hardest work would be relocating myself to London but no... not at all. That work is still ahead of me. To finally get the diplomas, degrees etc. that I want and pushing into a career I have been longing for so long.  In here I actually have to start from the nil. UK bureaucracy won't recognize my previous diplomas or work experience from Finland and I even have to prove myself and my knowledge to my uni. That means tons of extra work and  investing on personal trainer/fitness instructor courses. 

Everywhere I go in London rainbows follow me.

A bit silly that a person that has no work experience or background from the fitness industry but has a certificate in Personal training (2 month weekend course) is considered to be more qualified than me who has a long history with in sports and has done some fitness instructor  and coaching work for two years in Finland.)   But they say that what doesn't kill you makes you only stronger? And even thought it may mean that I have to study some extra years at least I'll be in a profession that I love. 

  

Huge thanks to you all who believe in me when I have one of those days I just wan't hide the world in my bed (A.K.A. PMS) and keep pushing me forward by sending me small reminders and saying a few nice words!

This is the part of my blog where I originally thought about writing about my dry-and-no-date season but when you least expect it the reality bitch slaps you in the face. I finally got something going on and even if it's not going to be long lived story (maybe...maybe not....you never know!) at least it has restored my belief in men. He seems to be normal, kind, smart, funny and damn good looking. But I wouldn't be too surprised if I later learn that he has 3 families around the globe "I'm a mormone"or turns in to a werewolf every full moon or has a schizophrenia because I really seem to attract crazy guys or end up having a really bad luck like...: 

1. The guy is crazy

2. The guy has a situation with his ex

3. The guy simply isn't that into me. 

Or maybe it's just me?...

But that can't be true because I'm a perfect woman! God's gift to the men around the world! They just haven't realized it yet... So  Why don't you love me?!

I can't wait for the weekend: Hanna is visiting me, my friend Kirsi from the Upper secondary school times happens to be in England and London this weekend and my new flatmate from Finland moved in this monday... This means that there's a Paaartiiieee in finnish style. And the budget wont be a problem. Fools pay and crazy people get it for free! WOOP WOOP!

Happy days!

Question for you to think about: Would you rather live in a rich house with a view to a dodgy area OR in a dodgy house with a view to nice rich area? I don't know about you but I think my view is Fantastic!

 When the olympics finally were over I swear that the population in London seemed to cut down by half. It was time to get back in routines and focus on learning more about  London, making it my home and fulfilling my aims.

This Month I tried gluten-free sausages that were amazingly similar to finnish Siskonmakkara- sausages. Ise quickly made sure that I wouldn't be too exited about that when she commented that my sausages looked like little penises. (Thanks Ise. Now it will take ages for me the get rid of that image in my head.)

She haven't commented on my green breakfast fruit smoothie (yet) which makes me lucky I think. I can't afford giving up all my dishes due to Ise's comments. Spirulina, MSM powder, pia protein, banana, orange juice, pineapple, strawberry cocktail!

ODE TO YOYO'S
CROSS TRAINER

Alone in the dark.
Without any touch, without any love.
Only a faint memory of a sweaty palm on your handles.

So much hatred your physical clumsy form inspired among us.

Last goodbyes in Nick's arms on a boozy friday night.
We left you behind.
There you stayed,
next to used bottles, trash papers and binned life's.
Maybe someone will sweat on you once again?

We had a small renovating project to be done in the flat before our new flatmates would be moving in.  That meant a lot of painting, running stairs up'n down, making compromises with the furniture and storage space. (And throwing that damn ugly cross trainer to garbage Yo-Yo left behind when she moved back to Finland.)

Unfortunately we didn't have that much free space to "throw" the stuff out of the way so the next best thing was to pile up everything in the centre of the room....

       


Even thought my dad is a painter as well as my uncle (even my granddad was a painter) I'm not a painter.

 My motto worked pretty well in this project: "Plenty of liquids and everything will be just fine..." Such an amateur as I was I still did the man's work listening Ise advising me and pointing out the places where I missed a spot etc. 

Who needs a man when you have gluten free brownies and you can paint the walls all by yourself? HA!

Moving from a single room...

...to newly decorated double room with tons of space!

And the Scandinavian feng shui rocking!

One thing that I still can't understand is the lack of decorative sense in english peoples minds. When did the whole floor carpets in the bathroom become a good idea?! And no... it's not a good way to hide "the drops" and definitely doesn't save time from cleaning the "oops- drops" of the carpet. If your not blind you surely smell all those drops. And why to have laminates in the bathroom? Much better than carpet but have you ever heard of tiles?

I admit that I really hate whole floor carpets. They are hard to keep clean and I really have a bad habit to spill everything around. Coffee? On the carpet! Some red wine? YEP On the carpet already! The worst thing is that after my morning run I literally sweat on everything and if I don't immediately run to shower there is a pond around me ON THE CARPET.

And how about sense of colors? With what goes with what? Don't even ask.. I spent the whole friday last week trying to get rid of that "magnolia" (A.K.A. puke) color on my walls. Just like someone has been smoking decades inside and spilled some Ribena on the walls.

They even have IKEA in here and unfortunately it still hasn't improved the deco-sense of these people. They actually joke about IKEA furniture being so complicated to build that it's almost comparable with nuclear physics..

England surely knows how to make things so complicated that it must be some sort form of art by now. Everything from paperwork to daily living:

"No sir... you must fill the form YX98635672875298 before you can get the form 44475ABC."

"Why to use only one tab when you can exercise every morning by moving you hands around the sink  trying to make the perfect temperature water in your palms to throw on you face from TWO TABS?"

Like I have said before I don't really get too stressed about the England's complex logic with everything. The best feature in London is the multicultural atmosphere and I love it! In battersea we have plenty of churches, mosques and temples. But the real worshiping happens in the local supermarkets. They have dedicated a whole aisle for crisps! 

Aneta my work mate and me have decided to try something new every month. We had a trial in British Military Fitness in Hamsptead Heat park last tuesday. I still can feel the pain on my legs and have to admit that we really had some fun! Running around like kids, giggling, challenging ourself in group work and competing with others. Huge thanks to Ian for letting us test milfit.  We really had a good time and got plenty of inside jokes to cheer us up on our days at work.

Only thing that was the obstacle or kind of funny was my first reactions to the training. I'm really not that used to people commanding me or telling me what to do. Thank god I still didn't challenge Ian with my attitude "I'll show you who's the boss!"

BTW about working out:

I've found myself again from the sweet 80's. Who would forget the ultimate gym tune Survivor - Eye of the Tiger? And when you giving everything that you have and even more the song is Push it to the limit from the Scarface! And one of my favorites Amy Holland- She's on fire. One day I'll dress up like the real gym bunny in the 80's and pull a show at my gym!

Even thought it has actually been proved that nowadays all the music sounds the same let me introduce you to my gluteus and thighs workout song: Far East Movement feat. Pitbull- Candy. This is the song to company my mantra "J'lo's ass...... J'lo's ass....." which has also been changed recently because that mother of two has the most amazing abs too! So if you hear me murmuring "Jlo's ass and abs... Jlo's ass and abs.." at the gym don't call the police or white coated men. She's just one of the inspiring people I see as my idols right after Leonardo Da Vinci, Laura Bassi, Lara Croft and Einstein. 

http://www.justjared.com/photo-gallery/2682116/jennifer-lopez-casper-smart-ab-tastic-in-rio-23/

Year 2012 and olympics in London HOORAY! People are exited! the games are on EVERY DAY!  You got to have a ticket at least from some park with big screens. Everybody talks about the olympics! If there is empty seats in the games they write about on every magazine. "How they dare to do that?! The VIP audience?! How do they have the guts to do that?!" (Well if I would have the money and wouldn't really care about anything but the after parties...)

Anyway. The olympics are going on all wild and glory as ever and the olympics don't really effect my life a at all..... It's just nice to have free ice creams in the Waterloo station and Gosh I hate the tourists being on my way all the time.... Hey some of us have to work! I admit it! I'm lazy, ignorant, immigrant with a really selfish attitude!

Or maybe just bored at all the corruption and show the whole thing have woken up? All the stores in London have some kind of sales and promotions going on because of the olympics. "Buy Powerade! 3 for the price of 2!", "Tampax will keep you going!", "Wear Addidas and run as like Usain Bolt!"... These aren't official adverts and the companies mentioned don't necessary have anything to do with the corrupted marketing during olympics.

The other thing that kind of bothers me is the weird attitude that wearing/drinking/eating something that the sponsors say will make you the athlete him/herself is a bit strange. And how about approaching people you may like with the following sentence: "I work in the olympic..." and winking your eye? (Of course you forgot to mention that they pay you only £6/h and you actually sell hod dogs. But of course you wan't to make the impression that you work next to the real superheroes.

According to the legends Heracles and Zeus were the ones developing the "games" among the cities of agent Creese. The games were held every fourth year and were of a fundamental religious importance, featuring sporting events as well as ritual sacrifices to honor the gods. The ones lucky, strong, smart and fast enough to win the games were treated as immortal heroes (and today if you do the same: You get into a Pepsi commercial! WOHOO! )That ended around 393 AD. The olympic games were tried to bring back alive in the revolutionary France 1796 and the games as we know them now were established (in it's official glory) in 1896. The legends and history books mention  also that they were officially for men only and of course the athletes were naked. (How strange that that wasn't mentioned in wikipedia?..) and the olympics 2012 are remarkable and will make history at least in one sector: First time ever that women's boxing is included officially in the games. I couldn't believe my eyes when I red the news mentioning that side of the story. Really?! Are we still in the stone age?! Actually women's boxing was introduced around 1907 but wasn't accepted... In the name of equality! Lets take the nudity back! If that happens I promise you that I'll be all sharp and eyes glued to the TV during triathlon, swimming, running, football, tennis, handball, boxing, wrestling.....

I had a really nice conversation at work with elderly couple. They asked if I follow the olympics and did I see yesterdays games. It was a bit embarrassing to admit that I don't do that and explain that I just spend my free time at the gym.
 "Oh you too?! You should be in the Olympics then!" 
"Oh not really... it takes at least couple of years to get in really good shape and I'm not good in those sports... "
"How about swimming?"
"Yeah..maybe... but I hate water"
Laughing: "That may be a problem... running?"
"Yeah... actually I hate running too."

Then we tried to find a suitable sport for me in the olympics and football, gymnastics and boxing were the only solutions. But I am a bit too old and not that technically good in football, not that flexible (nor tiny) for gymnastics and I really enjoy more kickboxing then boxing and the lady admitted that it's much more beautiful then boxing..closer to dancing but no worries my readers: As long as they don't have crazy improvised table dancing or high heel running you won't see me in the olympics. Maybe in the "support" team looking after some athletes gluteus muscles as a personal osteopath?... Just kidding!

I would be totally professional in my work and make sure that my athletes would be all ok for their challenges!

 Essi visited me for a couple of days and was so thoughtful that brought some finnish chocolate, salmiakki and good quality sports supplement. We did the odd-all-ready-a-routine-round- at the local pub and have a splendid evening.

The next day was dedicated for the miracles of nature and the wonders of the anatomy. Natural history museum and Bodies revealed it is!

  

 

There was hundreds or thousands humming birds in that vitrin!

I found a solution for unwanted approachers in the bars: "Let me introduce you to my friend..."  and then pull this out of your handbag...

 

They have a really good collection of jared creatures in the Natural history museum.

In the evening we prepared ourselves for a big night in the bars of Camden.  We ended up in the Enteprise and stayed there all night speaking to these italian fellows and dancing like we never danced before. Unfortunately someone stole my handbag...

There went my old Nokia x6 that I used for my english mobile number,a  few pounds, travel card and Dior compact powder (all the rest I got back including keys, cards and lipgloss.)  Travel card wasn't a problem. I could lock it easily and got a new one in couple of day free of charge and the Nokia X6 is clumsy anyway but who would steal someones used compact powder?! Worth only around £30?! It's disgusting (like borrowing someones used tampon..) and you must be really desperate! The guys were laughing to my reactions about the missing powder (talking about priorities..) but were really helpful in that situation. 

The night ended with style when Essi the sweet, small girl turned in to a fierce woman all ready pissed of because of my stolen handbag and when some jerks from a passing car threw an raw egg on our shoes. She shouted like a werewolf and went to the closest fast food place demanding some tissues to clean her shoes. Such a sweet girl! <3

On sunday we wen't shopping and ate again the best veggie food you can have at InSpiral lounge Camden. Veggie gluten free lasagna is the absolute best and you never stay hungry after eating that. Huge meal!

I'm not alone anymore!  I met it in many shops and finally couldn't resist it's charisma. The third time I was all over it with this funny expression on my face and glow in my eyes Essi told me to take it.

I have now decided to test my limits. I'm such a perfectionist personality that before specializing to sports people (one option) I really have to understand them. And because it's been years since kind-of-serious training I try to get back to that level! Just in general sports: Fittest, fastest, strongest, the most flexible and the best endurance levels as possible! It's all about having goals, pushing your own limits not just physically but also mentally.

I have to get to a normal level when it comes to setting goals and really look what weights I'm using how long I'm running and how many km etc. Because at the moment I run as a typical route in the morning that "doesn't feel too long or make me bored" and use weights/make reps "that are challenging and don't get me bored". And the main measurement technique I use for my workout and running at the moment is: 

First you always feel like you die. Then you're afraid that you won't die and when you feel all ok and alright you can finish the workout! (In the morning the exercise takes only 15-25min and evening from 45min to 2,5h.)

Smart isn't it? But does it take you far? Well...

So I prepare myself with more knowledge by studying some extra and finding the style that suits me and check the nutrition etc. Of course not forgetting having occasionally too much fun and taste a little bit sinful life... 

And always remember the biggest rule of them all: 

Yesterday I had a fantastic evening out with my colleagues eating indian food and due to forgetting my nowadays even more sensitive gluten intolerance/allergy I got to pay all day today for it. First not getting out of the bed, then spending fun time in the toilet and when trying to workout in the evening: after 10min workout and 30s kickboxing sparring almost puked and fainted on the gym floor. 

Not that nice for my selfconfidence. Crappy punches, kicks and running.

Well everyday can't be a good day! (and this will probably continue a couple of days..)