Sorry guys in advance. Sometimes it's good to lift my chin up and see what's going in the world instead of bathing in my own worries of getting my shoulder fixed, forming life's plans and relocating.

Here's a result of my silent self-wondering thoughts: 

Today's the day Scotland is voting for it's independence.

Lets state the facts:
-Scotland being independent from the Early Middle Ages till late 1500s and  from 1603 England and Scotland shared the same monarch James VI of Scotland who was declared the King of England and Ireland during the union of crowns. .
-United kingdom was formed in the 1800.
The United Kingdom as we know it today without the Southern Ireland was formed 1922.
(If there is any inaccurate information here please forgive me. I'm only an ignorant immigrant in London)

The question here is what will happen if Scotland leaves the UK?... The press and media has been pretty interesting  with different point of views and today's Daily Mail had the most funniest threat: "Scotland cannot participate to the national lottery anymore nor Euromillion!".

Forming a working country and government is not only time consuming but costs a big deal of money as well. How about forming an army and the intelligence department?... From NHS to Scotland's own unit? Isn't there already separate areas and departments looking after these things for Scotland's region that can be easily transferred to "Independent Scotland"-ones?

I've spent some time reading the new, trying to understand the history behind all of this from there forming my point of view but I got to be honest here and say: I really don't have a clue what to say.

I was horrified how hostile people were against EU and blamed EU about all of the problems even thought UK was the first ones to be in EU in 1973 and has 29 council votes and 73 Euro Parliament seats (vs  Finland's 7/13) and surely has a big decision making role in EU. Does the british even know that?

And now United Kingdom is panicking when we all know that scottish, irish and immigrants have always been treated a bit like second class citizens with different regulations, rules and behavior towards them. (Sorry no reference for that but this is what I've been witnessing during my stay here AND this doesn't happen all the time's ok?!.. Some people still know how to use common sense).  

First of all I was angry that the media, news etc. didn't really mention Russian and Ukraine's situation (What I've been following using internet and the finnish news) that much but concentrated on a silly little matters like what the rich and famous are doing, how to prepare to the cold season and who insulted UK again? But than I saw the news about the vote for Scotland's independence. Than it hit me.

The English way of trying to lower down the possible panic, public awareness etc. is to be ignorant/keep people ignorant towards things that don't really matter that much is to make them seem like the smallest things in the world. Make a bull look like a fly. Clever boys!

What will happen if Scotland becomes independent? Will a wave of independence flush through the whole EU and for example in such a little country like Finland even the Åland islands wants to become independent? (No more learning forced finnish... and having better opportunities to study such a subjects like medicine in the swedish speaking cluster.. Heja Åland!) At least the Catalonia of Spain has these hopes up already.

Would these kind of things happening RIGH NOW be good for the future of Europe? Well Putin probably will be happy due to him getting a change to concentrate on his world ruling mission and everybody's attention away from Ukraine (like the propaganda of plans to take over Finland are...). The propaganda, spying etc. has completely transformed in the last century and for example I don't even want to know what small little details about me can be formed in a matters of seconds.

To put it all together I can't really is it good time for scotland to become independent nor what is actually really going on in the politics but  at these times, the citizens of Europe as the World as well, should concentrate of seeing behind the news to understand what is real and what's not so real and where we ought to concentrate and turn are eyes to see.  

I can assure you it wont be your belly buttons and using blinds will only make things worse.

Propaganda from Bushe's America during world war II

I now consider EU, England and London my home as much I consider Finland to be my home. It's a bit worrying some to see it slightly shattering apart and all confused.

WARNING
The following text may contain matter that is hard to handler for simple minded individuals and especially those who lack understanding of good old sarcasm.


I found  perfect video to describe the reason of my 24/7 on going pissed off mood.

1. If there's a frame repair and me and my male colleague in the front reception. Who will they ask first to help?... The male of course.

2. Why do I so often have to reveal how many a years I've been working in a optical profession to make them understand that I likely know exactly what I'm speaking about?

3. And why when I'm walking past a group of guys/ladies etc whistling, shouting after me and making those summoning noises developed for pets should be considered a compliment? (And if I have to list here what I was wearing I'm going to consider that as an insult...)

Worst to me is not media nor men but other women. We look down on women who dress up and look pretty as the media wants us to look like, sometimes behave questionable  and downgrade our "intellectuality" to appeal to men and when the woman is behaving against the mainstream expectations we think that she's not making enough effort. Yet speak about women's rights and how we should be treated equally.  Logical behavior?..

So life isn't really that easy.

I often get eyes rolled at me and asked "You're into shopping and small dogs?" and I have to prove myself that I'm actually an independent woman who has brains (sometimes working all fine and in some subjects not that well). Why?!

talking about my experiences and history: in the dating scenes it's even worse. Often I get treated cheaply as I would give to every guy that squeezes my bum, says I'm beautiful, buys me a drink and I'm a fucking frigid when I don't. (Women having a healthy sexual life are bitches vs. guys fucking around are studs) I also hear the comments: "You actually seem like a good person and have brains too". Why is it so surprising?  Doesn't people usually have brains and personality? Just because you look like a crazy ass material party young girl doesn't mean it's reality.

Then I end up proving myself 24/7 to the guy that I can actually change a light bulb, use computer, build a bookshelf, make a fire, calculate algebra, know something about the history, read the news...

And at that point I just get fed up.

At what point would the man prove to me that his loyal, understand the astrology, can cook, be gentle, speak about emotions, weep when watching sentimental movies, know how to change baby's diapers  etc?

Talking about clichés here...

In Finland it's even more complex: Men want that smart hot sexy ass beauty queen but you also got to wear wellies, be down to earth, have crazy "woman drama"-fits,  know how kill a bear and not be a princess.

When it has become such a "proving myself to be worth to know"-show?

Or am I making a fuzz out of nothing and understanding things completely irrationally here?!

When I'm searching for the significant other the first thing in my mind is not to try to prove that the clichés in the other person are right (Muscles= no brains, fat=lazy, Big feet=big dick, working class=trashy, public schools=idiot...) but I actually try to get to know him and see if he actually could be a man who I could see myself growing old with without becoming crazy, perhaps set up a family and who could challenge me and give that little push when I doubt myself as I would to him.

After all the beauty fades away as does our minds with every passing minute...

Just to inform you guys that I'm having a sort of a crisis.

That strange ritual of getting ride of your earthly belongings and cutting of your roots has started and I'm panicking here...

From this....

"Do I even know how to deal 24/7 with finnish people?"

"To whom shall I call and gossip 24/7?! It just isn't the same thing in finnish!"

"There' no-one to tackle at the finnish metro like here!"

"WHAT?! Everything actually works and I get from place A to B in time?!..."

"What will I do without that annoying english habit of not showing what you really mean/feel?" 

"But I need my boots/organic vegetables&fruit store/gym/hairdresser.. And my favorite coffee?!... No one knows how to make it but that girl at the chamomile!"

"And I just love taking the piss out of people here!"

to this. And still plenty to do.

The funny part is that now I'm getting pretty good offers from a career point of view BUT from here London. Why is it so that when you stop looking it all comes to you?!

(You never know fromwhere I'll find myself in a year's time....)

Meanwhile I'll go to Finland without any signs of a job nor a house for myself. Talking about living on a edge?...

On last friday I finally had a chance to get out, eat/drink well and jus have fun! The last time I had a weekend off not due to a holiday or surgery etc. was probably in April. Nice...

Night ended up being amazing filled with food, laughter and meeting new amazing people. What's not to love?

Yes... I ate 2 medium sized gluten-free pizzas and yes it was so delicious 

and points to Pizza hur for minimal cross contamination. I only had

minor symptoms and  could live with them. (still traumatized by Domino's last year)

I so will order pizza again!

I will miss my home street. Safe...posh...pretty...nice. Beautiful.


...............



Well... with the rent I pay now I can actually afford a 1 bedroom flat in Helsinki!

My perfect excuse for occasional stops in my morning run.
Pictures.

I'm proud to say that I finally started getting back to my workout routines. It'll take time to get back to the minimum of 3 times per week at the gym + 2-4morning runs but at least I'm on my way there. I just wish my shoulder wouldn't hurt so much when running... but what wouldn't be the best way to cut through that scar tissue and form some new quality tissue than extreme training? The body uses and forms what it needs so maybe in 3 years I'll be back in the game?

At times you just don't have time and I rather avoid that junkie than wash my laundry at late evenings. So there I was.. combined my short morning run with the laundry moment. How efficient is that?!

when a funny situation occured.

Those who really know me knows that I EAT. And I truly eat A LOT! 

So when I was checking the time I thought that man I really don't have time to eat any breakfast due to some shower time and blow drying my hair so what a smart girl like me does?... Cafe time while my laundry spins around inside the dryer and back at Chamomile while ordering my soya latte and gluten free almond orange cake my sweaty presence awakens a few smiles among my fellow coffee drinkers. 

The silent laughter started when the cafe employee forgot to give my take away cake and I stared at her demanding my cake with a firm tone in my voice:

"Cake?..."

The lady with her small boy smirked and laughed: "Yeah! That's the best part!" and winked eye at me. 

Then it hit me:

I must have looked absolutely hilarious there with my sporty outfit, all sweaty and ordering cake. (It was a healthy cake!)

Moment relaxing drinking mint chocolate and enjoying the candles.

So I'll prepare myself for the change by watching all the most funniest finnish comedy clips I can remember. 

And for a nice finish for this blog update about me. Here's something that really made my day and made me remember that small things matter:

Finally a day off after once again mentally stressful week. What could be better then to visit my library and fill my head with stories of courage, breaking free from the class system and cliche girl boy roles? Don't forget great amount of emotions and those passion filled looks nor magic! All you fantasy fans in front of your screens. If you haven't found Kate Elliott yet I highly recommend you to google her and especially the Spiritwalker series.  I absolutely love it!  (It may have some effect that before these disability, working+studying 24/7 included only medical literature...).  

I also practiced my other skill as well. Behold the Coconut-Vanilla & Rasberry -Rose cupcakes!
Gluten free and mostly used pure ingredients of course. What else would I use? Critics can say what ever they please but eating pure & organic works for me. Last time I had a man flu? (Forgetting my shoulder of course)? Errr... months ago? Skin, stomach, metabolism all good. Maybe placebo effect but for me all this works because 2-3 years ago I used be ill at least every other month.

Sports, gym, sports and more about sports! That's all that is rolling in my head most of the time. Unbelievable how snappy you become without routine workout. Thereby I here announce that I'll start my running and booty workout ASAP. I'm fed up of resting and relaxing. My arm will get used to all of this and shoulders/upper limp workouts start in 2-3 months. I've been in pain over 6 months now so what a bit more pain could do? Time to concentrate on me, myself and I!

Found a parcel company that will transport all my small earthy belonging to Finland in a pretty good price so I got a bit more to shop and invest to quality before broke ass student life. All exited about my new wardrobe items and my shortly arriving compression gym pants that should allow better blood flow while still keeping cool when hot and warm when cold. With my low blood pressure this actually means happy times and I wont pass out during HIIT. Praise the new technology! Work outs and training isn't as complicated as the public believes. You basically don't need anything but you know what works best for you and  what "aids" helps you in the end. Mine are my food and my pants... BOOM!



SOCIAL MEDIA BREAKDOWN

Btw started laughing again when thinking how people will react to me back in Finand. First of all: I've become accustomed to dress up when going out, doing the whole shebang to look great (including the hairdresser etc. Who knows it may even work for my benefit?..) but don't you worry guys. Deep down I'm still that Tomboy and will likely destroy half of my high heels/dresses after a night out when I get another of those fantastic ideas of walking back home through a forrest or fiercely look after my friends when their honor is questioned.

Never judge the book by it's cover.



THE CUPCAKE CHALLENGE