Off-peak times and (Jaqs company) gave me enough courage to leave my safety territory and explore the wonders of the summer day in South bank.

Home made burger buns!

Performing street artists

When you're looking for love or try to understand the complexity of it what could be the best place to start than the Festival of Love?

There are 7 kinds of love:

Agabe- Love of humanity
Storge – family love
Pragma – love which endures
Philautia – self-respect
Philia – shared experience
Ludus – flirting, playful affection
Eros – romantic and erotic love

Amazing views

This made me feel like home. 

Got my hopes up that this would help me to find the quality

men but unfortunately the tips in the book are way too old 

school.  Actions are the things that defines the real man!

Movie Iron Sky is a plays with Tabu's, clichés and common settings that we are used to.  (Directed by Timo Vuorensola, a Finn of course. Who else would have that sick sense of humor mixed with straight forward honesty? The truth comes out no matter what the cost might be!) First of all the  movie is about the Moon Nazis. You heard me right... 1945 nazis found a way to travel to the dark side of the moon and have been there ever since waiting for their time to conger the world.

Don't worry Germany the movie is not making fun about the nazis only. USA gets it share of the filth as well. Also North Korea.... Russia too! And finally Finland is also targeted. Because funnily enough we finnish tend to have the ability to laugh and criticize ourselves as well. (Ability that some nationalities are lacking. Badly lacking... but lets save that for another day!) Also the action orientated mainly male characters filled movie world gets it's share when women are put in the place of men commanding battle ships with sexist jokes. Racism will be brought to justice as well.

The movie itself isn't that mind-blowing but the concepts it raises up for some sarcastic criticizing and some amazing actor/actress performances stretched to the extreme make this movie one of those that you definitely have to watch. At least once in your life time!

There's some good lines there and sorry for not quoting them here. They are not appropriate for all the public.

Even thought I have given you a picture of me spending all my days just reading, doodling and watching TV I have to reveal my little not so small dirty secret: The few braincells I still have left have been working hard and been thinking about the big questions. Especially now when I have to rethink my life again. The future among those mighty, shiny and (loaded!) always sounds amazingly appealing. Maybe business/banking could be for me? Or not...  I'm a girl of action and I love to express myself in one way or another! Marketing & media did have a fair share of my thoughts but then I had to face the reality. I might not be able to pursuit my values in the media or I may have to work amongst things I personally don't feel comfortable with: Like selling people values+happiness that can be bought or as cliché it sounds spread the unhappiness about yourself, looks etc and end up downgrading the things I so strongly believe in while taking a part in the pissing contest and living the "high life" all cocaine headed amongst people who only want to know you because of your connections or fortune. Talking about the inspiration killer and the doom of the artistic individuality here. No wonder now a days  everything in the media seems all the same! Maybe I'm over dramatizing this scene here but I'm pretty sure you get my point. ( Like my friend back in Finland who has amazing talent in fashion design but doesn't feel comfortable with the consumer culture and the negative environmental-economical-social impact the fashion industry has.)

In conclusion: After long day at work I want to go home and fall asleep thinking that this was another day when I actually helped someone and improved their life. It being healthcare, design, education...  That's where I want to be.

Strawberries, sun... what else do you need?

Thanks for the amazing day at the Primrose Hill Fiona! 

Good news guys: Life wins eventually. 

My pain medication seems to be working and I actually sleep most of the night and wake up all relaxed. It is strange to be on a kind of vacation without crazy partying or kick-ass bootcamp activity.  So what else can I do but to enjoy the summer in London?

Small things make me happy and as you can see it's beautiful here. Last couple of nights got my endorphin adrenaline mixtures rolling with all those lightnings. I just love thunderstorms!

Good omen: A little finch flew to my small apartment through my window. (Which wasn't really that open and you really have to want to fly in if you want to get here...) Birds bring good luck!


Aaaaand I've been doodling again...

KIKI the OWL

Park time

The social media

Every bird knows

KIKI the OWL

THE DOGTOR

After 2 seconds of thinking,
And A to B linking.
Wellbeing if it declines...?
I rather sleep through my nights!

Not matter how alluring is the disguise,
Everything comes with a price.

THE OWLING HOUR

THE LIBRARY BLUES

Literally getting back to my roots. (Or at least childhood. )

I was one of those spending a lot of time in the local libraries. Today I decided it's time to get myself of the bed (my bum was getting numb.) and my roasting hot flat.

There I stood and admired the jaw opening awesomeness of my closets library. 3 floors, dashing new contemporary design, so many departments and books... oh so many BOOKS!

Walking around there and touching the books brought some memories back to the surface and made me smile.

How come now-a-days I don't have time for this?...

Funny story:
On my way to the library this elder gent stopped me and asked what happened to my shoulder. I responded a surgery happened but it'll be ok. He praised my positive attitude, then my looks and asked me for a coffee explaining that he would regret if he wouldn't have done that. Didn't take the offer but  the thing is that today was a perfect timing for him&me meeting. Haven't shovered in 2  days, not much make up (only something to actually show I have eyebrows and lashes) and not feeling that good about myself at all. Medicine for my wounds!

 Here's a insight how I spend my days now when shoulder's still recovering:

BTW I found this playlist from Spotify "Dinner with friends". I swear that this is more of a list to get into your mates pants, memorize your ex, expressing your true feelings for the one or longing after the one that got away. Either way good songs and suits my mood perfectly! 

We got a heat wave now so you wont be hearing from me every day. I'll be out'n bout with my books and pencils getting all inspired from the summer! 

KIKI the OWL 

The hard LOVE (or the lack of it)

"You can't say it's easy,

To be all that pleasy.

Everyone in the world has their place,

I rather do it my way

If that's the case!"

"It's like a full moon every night in my life,

with all of those strange creatures outside.

How hard it can be 

just to find a decent normal guy you see?!"

"No longer than me in front of the mirror... PLEASE!"

"It's not about the appearance they say,

but lets look it at the other way;

It's about chemistry, passion and that something,

without that it's like trying to find that magical draw towards nothing!

Sir equipped with a smaller biceps than I 

I may feel a bit grumpy and terribly shy.

Only I'll see you as my potential guy,

Common thing being sports, mind game, clothing or a laugh,

But the true honesty not a prepared disguise or a lie."

"And why to live in a medicated fantasy and pleasure through a pill to seek?

When you cannot keep your hold in the reality and your bills still unpaid as we speak...

No... my name's still not Hanna nor Tina 

And the only reason for your dark jealousy is that

 it's hard for you to keep your pants up and talking about the honesty...

so fetch your stuff and out of my nest Mr please! "

"What about these males, with a need of 

a harem on their side?

Is that to replace self-esteem, 

love or their size?..."

"And then there's that distance problem...."  

Sight

 "As you can see,

life's not always that easy and 

the world that clear place to be.

But at least we all can agree,

nothing makes you feel as worry free,

In your down's and high's,

dreams, hopes and lies...

Could there any better position be 

than a place among us three?

At least I know my friends,

when I screw up and find myself deep in a shit again,

That's where you will always be,

keeping me company!"

You have no idea how excited I got when I saw this outside my door this morning:

Christmas can be any day of the year and today for sure I felt again like a little girl all excited about this package. Watercolor pencils and soft pastels for the color mixing and all over the place look! Finally I got some time to express myself and doodle around! I'm just not used to doing nothing so why not? This is something I also love and have missed a lot. 

I'm proud of myself for actually getting myself out of the flat alone for the first time after the surgery. Some shopping (pain killers and dry shampoo. You have no idea how lucky you guys are when you're able to wash your hair! Appreciate it!) Later meeting up with Shauna to fetch my stethoscope and rest of my stuff from uni I again found myself in another art store and I just couldn't resist and had to get myself some pastel paper and art marker pens (with 15% student discount you can never go wrong!) . I have never been that good in comics so why not practice while expressing myself and the one-arm situation on a paper?

It gives you a sense of home when you have someone around you. I was basically just reading a book and commenting her on her packing a few times and already felt like being at home. After washing my hair (again) we crashed on my bed and tried to watch the Sailor Moon that didn't work out too well. And Shauna what is this all conversation about SailorMoon 247?! And I'm still not drawing you as a Sailor Moon on my comic!

I'm pretty sure that I have already done everything you shouldn't do with your arm after the surgery. Such things like forgetting the whole "I-just-had-a-surgery"-thingy and try to use your arm to reach for something, accidentally lean and slightly put your weight on it, try to carry something with it and my favorite: during your sleep only god knows what I'm doing with it! Thanks for the person who invented the arm sling and that it should be worn all the times. Otherwise people like me who have the  gold fish tendency (turn around and suddenly the situation is completely new again) would be in a whole lot of trouble...

Luckily regardless the heavy medication my body seems to be on top of the things and before I cause any greater damage it just stops working and drops things out of my hand or makes me cramp awkwardly to remind that my really doesn't work.

And btw I may reconsider the whole psychic thing again. German won. BOOM! Amazing goal from Mario Götze during extra time.

And Netherlands's didn't do too bad nether. Bronze is better than 4th place (Brazil why?...why only 4th?!) And I did say a few weeks ago that German and Netherlands will be the ones to do well from Europe. HA!

The time runs while in bed rest. Not because I have an amazing collection of movies but due to our friend Codeine.

Getting myself back together

Unbelievable how entertaining staring at the wall can be and how it really works with all sorts of pains. When taking the pill in minutes the burning knife in my shoulder disappears, all previous stress is gone and the one who really insulted me is a distant memory. Happy days! (with a downside as well. Yesterday I luckily was escorted by Shauna to my GB. Almost fainted in the nurses room when she was changing the bloody dressings to clean ones.)



You have no idea how good to finally have a bath feels. It was like from mission impossible. All the preparation just to dip yourself to water without soaking the wounds... my 3 minutes in heaven.

Sun shining so bright it makes
you feel guilty when flat in your bed
inside

Nothing's better than fresh fruits an cucumber with hummus!

Shauna saved me from my medicated paranoid thoughts and washed my hair what became another mission me kneeled in front of the bath tub like confessing my sins while having water everywhere  and took me outside to buy some organic fruits and chocolate. Just to make sure I get my daily dosage of vitamin D! Have to say I just feel like I ran a marathon and completely exhausted! Thank god for my massive comfy bed!

One of my life's saviors!

It surely feels great to be clean with washed hair and comfy bed to continue my days of doing nothing but healing and recovering. Can't really remember of having a "holiday" longer than 1,5 weeks since I was 16. This is a whole new world for me. Just when you thought you have no time for nonsense like this, time just for yourself, somebody literally throws you with it at your face. Everything has a reason.

Btw been all emotional here again. Continuing my line with the classics. Remember Rome & Juliet 's version from the 90's with amazing actor work from for example always ever so dashing Leonardo DiCaprio? Who wouldn't love Shakespeare?:

"Oh, she shows the torches how to burn bright! She stands out against the darkness like a jeweled earring hanging against the cheek of an African. Her beauty is too good for this world; she’s too beautiful to die and be buried. She outshines the other women like a white dove in the middle of a flock of crows. When this dance is over, I’ll see where she stands, and then I’ll touch her hand with my rough and ugly one. Did my heart ever love anyone before this moment? My eyes were liars, then, because I never saw true beauty before tonight."