So my last days in Finland included a lot of meeting friends and too much caffein. It was nice to how everybody was doing:

Mari hasn't changed at all and her life is full action. She's such a superwoman!

Satu has got herself a rental flat with a sauna. Sauna! I want to have a Sauna too! When I finally open my clinic I make sure I get my house with a sauna! After a long walk in a beautiful finnish nature with Satu's dog Säde Sani joined us and (Which was extremely good for me after all that alcohol and pickled salty cucumbers... I was so swollen up that I even couldn't open my eyes!) we had a classic girls pampering evening with some Aino chocolate mocha ice cream, tea and chocolate rice cookies. That night I slept like a baby!


Laura's relationship is going well and she got country house and a real man. We opened the outdoor+drink season with the welcoming warmth of the sun.  I tried to look for a real russian authentic Matushka scarf but unfortunately the central stores do take too much price for a 2nd hand scarfs. They weren't prepared to make any compromises with the price so I decided in my mind to go and visit  the eastern part of Helsinki to look for my scarf.  At least I found 2 very good leather handbags! Second hand is always better quality then those sold in high street stores. With this income unfortunately I can't yet afford a proper brand handbag...

Jenna's looking great and kids are growing up fast.

Hanna's family is becoming more tighter and that amazing woman has set herself fitness goals. It's nice to have someone to compare the results and share some experience and tips. She helped me to finally find my authentic Matushka scarf!

I always love catching up with Anne! This time we sinned a bit with some proper McDonald meals  and a movie which actually was a really good one when looking at the resent history of finnish film industry. 21 Ways to Ruin a Marriage  I can't remember when was the last time I laughed so much! Too many similarities to our single life's! 

I don't know when the next time to enjoy this delicious burger will come. ..

The flight back from Helsinki to London went again smoothly thanks to Finnair. I always seem to meet exciting people on my flights and this time  sitting next to me was a brazilian man with his 2- year old daughter. Apparently he has been living in Finland for a number of years already but mainly spoke portuguese, spanish, italian and a little bit finnish. We spoke a little bit about our experiences and I did help them to enquiry about their flight connections at Heathrow and even spoke with his finnish wife on a phone to make sure that he would get to the right place on time. I also got the pleasure to look after that cute kid when he had to visit the lavatory.

I think I probably broke a toe carrying all that luggage through London. (Yep... again I managed somehow to get my entire life to the suitcases from study books to DVD's. Tarantino collection CHECK!... )

This time I remembered to take the pot for my Moccamaster!

Next day was yet another reality slap. A reminder of the routines but I was thrilled. I even brought some finnish chocolate for my mates.  (And talking about chocolate... I have eaten so much chocolate that it's probably running in my veins!)

You have no idea how good it feels to be back in London.  Even this weekend filled with work and evenings spend in "fart pants" and Tarantino movies has felt like I'm living my life to the fullest. Last June I couldn't have believed that someday I would feel like this.

Finland, Helsinki, my family and friends will always be in my heart BUT here's where my life is! Some nice day in the future I may open my clinic somewhere outside London when the time is right for that but I'll enjoy my time here when I still can.

London's a place to call my home!

People have been joking about me being the person who brought the spring with her because

Look and behold! All the snow has almost melted away!

I spent my friday just settling in, relaxing and preparing myself mentally for the evening. It was nice to see my sisters after such a long time. Program included some pampering in a form of professional make up session with a few drinks. I think we left a print to the professionals mind because we got such a good deals from the make up and extra info of some treatments. After that we headed to Cantina West to enjoy a proper meal and surprise surprise ended to my parents local pub to dance and sing absolutely beautifully.

I got the perfect birthday gift from my auntie: I'M A LADY! 

Night is not a night without some drama:

1.Jealousy and unnecessary fights. 

2. Apparently my mom has a inner cougar and young men were flirting with her pretty badly. I remember giggling a bit when I saw her dancing  with at least 3 men and trying to be so innocent afterwards. If you thought that I'm a flirt you should see my mom and sisters!

Well what can you expect when everybody in my family has an ego to fill a castle and voice to definitely make our points clear? 

On saturday it was nice to see the girls after such a long time and catch up what has been happening but hey what would change?... Conversation lingered yet again around men, relationships and what we're going to do when we grow up!

Some drinks, snacks, candles, deep conversations and authentic belly dancing! Unfortunately most of the group had work to do next morning or got a bit tired during the evening but it didn't stop me and Susanna having a blast. (As usual!)

Personally one of the highlights of the evening was the 3 am McDonalds GLUTEN FREE Mcfeast burger. Why on earth UK don't offer these? I love my trash food moments as much as others!

Karaoke moment

I have told you before about the finnish men. Well what I noticed is that the reason why you don't get that rude behavior and suggestions that much in Finland is actually the lack of any social behaviour. A long conversation with a finnish man usually includes a few grunts and maybe 5 words. Nice..

I actually met this one finnish viking like guy (blond, strongly build, only a few words) who was keen on spending some time with me. I made it clear that he shouldn't waist his time with me because I live in London. He let it be for the friday evening but we met again on saturday evening in another bar. He demanded to get my number
( And I do give my number if a man really shows

Gluten free burger!

that his interested) and even texted a few times to me that night. But as usual the man didn't recon that I don't live in here and in the early hours tried to convince me that an after party is a really good idea and tried to ask my address. I made it clear that I still live in London, one night stands are not my thing and actually started laughing imagining in my head how my dad would react when seeing a random man entering the hall way...

Example of these early morning pictures

Yep they look a bit dodgy but are so delicious! Variation on red velvet cupcakes. I should seriously consider of making business out of my gluten free bakings: I just got an order to make 100 of  these gluten and lactose free yumminess for my friends Mia's wedding next september. 

Mirja's & my brothers dogs

Best of the best is always visiting family.

It is always nice just to relax, enjoy the sun, eat and do absolutely everything together. Like sitting on the couch watching Telly with a plank look.

Oh gosh how I've missed all my family!

I feel bad of not seeing my nephews and nice growing up because those kids are brilliant. Crazy auntie visiting them every now and then and running around the house trying to get a kiss. Absolutely fantastic. But thank you Facebook and Skype etc. It's easy to be in contact.

It is amazing how hard it is still to show how much you care and to receive the compliments in my family? My sister called me a bit emotional when I told my youngest nephew that hopefully he's aware that her auntie loves him and of course I've been hugging and kissing absolutely everybody etc. It just isn't part of our culture to show emotions that much. We are people with few words and to show that you care about someone is in actions: Making sure they have food, place rest and they're comfortable.

Mari enjoying a smoothie moment with me

I didn't think that this visit would be as busy as the last one here I go again running around like a madman.

Actually I'm getting a bit home sick here...   But I'll enjoy the last days in Finland while I still can!

THIS week is all about my friends!

Yesterday I woke up 3.30am to prepare myself for the morning flight to Finland. Surprisingly I did the packing all ready last evening so there shouldn't have been any difficulties to be at Heathrow in time right? Yet again as usual I almost missed my flight...

The bus trip to the air port became interesting when an absolutely pissed man decided to jump to the same bus. His friend had to stop the bus and push the man to the bus. The man walked to the center of the bus with a common "Bell's syndrome" drunken face barely understanding where he was.  The oh so nice mixed odor of boost, cigarets and stomach acid filled the buss. I prayed the lord that he wouldn't sit next to me. But once again I was the lucky girl and got some action for my morning!

It didn't take long for this man to start passing out and once he hit his forehead to the pole in front of us.  Then he decided that I was as soft and comfortable as a cosy couch... nice.  My arm occasionally got numb and I tried to wake up the guy to inform him how rude he was. Even the asian guy next to us tried to help me but nothing worked. I could have let him fall down on the hall way or pushed him away but I remembered my early morning bus trips to home in Finland when I passed out etc. and the people there (or a guardian angels) looked after me:

Oh those crazy random after parties and "cover stories". This one time I told to this drunken guy with his mouth full of fast food how hard it is to be dancer in this known club when all the rest of the people just party etc. and treat you like a piece of meat etc. (My brother is even better with these stories. Once he told to be a a gravedigger and how the faces of those who passed away are still haunting him. Yeah right... Thank god he's happily married now a days. ) You also get these entertainers in the bus. Once this one guy started shouting at the buss how big his dick is and offered every and each of us young women in that buss to have a taste. Even those with boyfriends with them... Failure! 

When he seemed to start staring at me like I'm his date for the evening I finally let him hit his head properly to the pole for the second time and that seemed to work because he looked at his phone and stepped out from the bus looking a bit lost. 

Finnair planes are probably the best ones: I got the seat from the back, gluten free snack without a problem and a nice estonian girl seated next to me (who actually lives at the same neighborhood in London as I!). Also a cute angel curl blond blue eye little boy was looking at me at times between the seats with a million dollar smile. He was adorable! 

From floral sunny London Spring...

To grey wet and depressing finnish spring and even the snow has started to melt due to sudden rains!  Apparently I brought the rain with me... Again.

It was exciting to see my mom and dad again and talk about everything that has happened in the last half a year. My phone and Facebook was completely filled with people contacting me to arrange meeting, dinners, coffees etc. I'm glad to see all of you guys!

Dad as usual joked about everything and noticed that my finnish has "suffered" from living and breathing english. My S has become more softer than in finnish language it should be so I sound like the Gopher from the Winnie the Pooh! (strangely I had the same problem when I was a little girl so maybe in my past life I lived in a english speaking country? Or maybe english language is more forgiving than finnish and there fore I have let myself to become lazy with the language corrections?)

I had one of our routine lunch/dinners in front of the Telly. This time they had bought all the seasons from the series Supernatural.

My dad always knows the best things to say about programmes. According to him the food tastes much better when there's some demons running wild on the screen...

First thing in Finland for me to do is always to see my grandma.  I agreed a week a go with my auntie to meet in the center and go to the hospital to surprise her. Unfortunately the flowers I brought for her suffered a little bit in my gentle osteopathic hands and they looked much more like a birch whip we finns use in the Sauna than nice spring flowers they meant to be... I was glad to see her full of spirit and life. She was already planning to get out of the hospital in the beginning of next week so I could do her spring cleaning for her. No matter what the doctors say!



I fell asleep around 8pm exhausted from all that traveling and cultural shocks. (You actually have to speak finnish to the nurses and shop assistants duh!). There fore I spent the friday morning and afternoon at home taking my time and enjoying some finnish delicates like milk products! In england you got yoghurt, Creme Fraiche, more tasty cheese even quark BUT there's so much more in Finland. Here's a little pic of those that Can't be bought easily in the UK.

And my shower experience: OMG! We actually have a good water pressure in the showers, hot water can be taken full granted and the tab water is so tasty: Like honey syrup from the heaven for being so fresh! 

So you probably can imagine me drinking that water like I have never tasted anything like that before and my shower moment was one like from a really good spa. Just like from the Herbal Essence's adverts. 

My mom has become to a conclusion that I have got all my beauty, strength, awesomeness, empathy, sympathy, musical & artistic sense (she claims I stole 3 of her karaoke songs..), cooking skills, Dancing talent etc. from her. 

Right...

This evening the family women will go for make-up, dinner and drinks all together. I'm not sure should I be scared or excited..

We'll see!

  

One of these odd days at the gym:

1. when joining a class the PT there smiles wickedly at you stating "Oh yeah..... OH yeah!" when seeing you. Translation: "Last friday I nearly made you cry... can you still feel the pain in your body? that's GOOD because today your not going to walk out of that room in 1 piece!"

2. Somebody has apparently stolen my playlist to use at the gym. All the classics from the 80s and a few extras some here and there. Like Sia -She wolf etc. That was just ODD!

The monday workout was so bad that due to pain I couldn't even lift properly small weights when doing the rotator cuff, shoulders and rhomboids+serratus muscles so I decided to focus on, legs+gluts and functional movement training with additional dance stretching just to do something and not to look like  a big sweaty cry baby on the gyms floor.

Still the results this morning were interesting: Even breathing hurts!



I used my time yet again to the more crucial important matters and lost myself in the world of movies. I have always loved russian literature and the way how simple words and gestures can have so much meaning. No too much of drama and great impressions but the beauty in small words and looks and yet how much there can be emotions behind those.

Anna Karenina has definitely from my point of view followed well the story itself. Choreography, music, costumes, small words, the scenes, arranged marriage, logic, honor, jealousy... love.
(and again I wonder why on earth men's adultery actions are a small thing compared to a woman's one?!)

And not to forget to mention: Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the count Vronsky... HOT HOT HOT!

Event-ought english language has it's amazing ability to describe many things without any limits it's frailty lingers in lack of the fine line of pronoun you and more official honoring you. That's why Mikhail Bulgakov's Master and Margaret english translation was lacking the quirkiness and the true meaning behind those words but in this movie version of the Anna Karenina the director has some how captured the meanings behind the words. Of course Leo Tolstoi's original book will always has the winners place but just saying that finally something of that beauty of the russian literature has been captured and represented pretty well.

Therefore I found myself again teary eyed and all emotional. (My dirty little girly secret) What's better cure for that than some gym time?

I also happened to watch  OZ the great and powerful and realized how much I'm like Glinda. Seeing good in all the people around me and kissing the forehead. (The secret to that is the all positive invisible rose tinted glasses I wear 24/7. )

And of course mix the whole palet with Jackie Chang 12 Chinese zodiacs. Some Kung Fu in single girls student life would be pretty handy...

The spring is here!

My flight to Finland keeps coming closer and I already feel the butterflies. I already remembered the main thing which is to order the gluten free meal for my flight so the biggest question is:

WHAT TO BRING BACK FROM FINLAND:
-Tons of Fazer's blue chocolate!
-Some Lonkero the Finnish "soda".
-Mustard, sausages...
-My DVD collection, uni books, Iiittala - and Marimekko stuff.
-Some rye bread for Vilja.
-Of course the coffee pot for my Moccamaster.

Can you storage finnish spring's dog-shit-wet-snow just to show the English what a real spring smells like? They could even stop the never ending whining about the weather!

BTW: This time Facebook loves to offer cosmetic surgery and olympic weightlifting for me. (Anne it must be due to that pretty picture of me and you in that passionate hug before our girls night out! )

Sometimes a day of "nothing" is actually more action orientated then it seems. I'm still wearing my loose purple night T-shirt with my hair representing Tina Turner's hairdo and all I have seemingly done so far has been some excessive eating and watching some movies.

I was absolutely pleased to be visited by my very good friends and create new memories with them. Like placing the Victorias Secret shopping back on a visible but not too obviously visible place in my room for a possible man candidate to spot.
-"Yes all my underwear is from Victorias Secret...." 
When in fact I tend to ruin my underwear with my sport interests so it's more sensible for me to purchase anything from sale: 
-"Only £1! WO-HOO!"

And how about my a very VERY rare walk of shame through the city with last nights make up and party dress on, hair all over the place, wide hilarious happy grin on my face, butterflies in my stomach  and broken tights meeting my friends before them going shopping and touristing around London and me escorted through the Battersea by whistles and honks finally ending up to my own bed? Beauty and the sleep!

The best of all.  Anne thought about rewriting her CV drinking a bottle of nasty tasting wine is definitely an excellent and crucial talent and describes motivation and the will power of the person in question. Right?

Borough market time!

Just look at that relaxed pose! This attitude from Noora is one of the few things  I've been missing from Finland. 

When you get older you don't concentrate on alcohol that much anymore. 

The most noticed and closest of the tourist destinations here... Look and behold the wonders of the world!

Saturday night was a blast and thanks to Wowcher we organized a proper girls night out with half naked good looking guys. Sorry Scandinavian Hunks but you're nothing compared to Dream Idols!

Sunday was time for some relaxation. Refreshing drink Lemonade and lime in my hand, sun on my face and random tunes in the air. And of course some "small" bowls of fries to help to recover last nights fun.

Next: Some sleepy time to prepare me for the visit to Finland (and trying to find the inspiration to finish my essays...)!

The spring break is finally the oh so much waited little brake in the never ending uni-work-gym cycle. You know what that means?...  GIRLS NIGHT OUT!

Jaqs unfortunately got a some sort of stomach flu (that bitch..) but it didn't stop Me, Shauna and Vilja at all.

All you need for a good night out: 
1. Vodka (Bulmers will do if you have the alcohol tolerance as I have now a days..)
2. Disney karaoke
3. Some rolls to have the BOOM hair and casual BUT hot outfit for the perfect party look.

I'm just going to describe the night for you with a few words not to reveal too much but to give you an idea:

Almost empty bar/club, guy group offering drinks, Locking my bank card's PIN and running without a coat to open it at the closes ATM trying to concentrate while other speaks finnish and other Irish next to you. Wild dancing with a professor from Netherlands head close to the dance floor occasionally, Shauna showing us the right way to party. (Irish people the strongest mindest compared to finnish)

Vilja the Ace of matchmaking:
-Who's cute?...
-He... but I'm just going to try to concentrate to look straight and drink my vodka redbull...
-Yeah right... I'll go and speak with him.
-NO!..

So there I was eventually ending up kissing with a fit U.S.A army guy which may have been a lucky thing due to the fact that I was too busy "making a connection" with that guy when Shauna finding a proper pole dancing pole in the cub she tried to find me.
Results would have been breathtaking!

Suddenly: Forrest Gump running. "RUN KICKI! RUN!" Shaunas house, next day cooking the whole shebang  starters, meal and dessert. Even tough I tried to convince Shauna that a kebab could work just fine.. But no: Starters carrot potato soup, Chicken and mushed potatoes el finale strawberry  Pavlova by me! We successfully made a huge mess in the kitchen and Shauna ended up stabbing me. Well not actually stabbing but a piece of broken bowl slashed my little toe. (sorry for your carpets...)

Irish granny cleaning (Shauna style: everything on the floor, swipe to corner... and clean later!)

Coming home 6pm (finally!)and the hottest man passed me when yet again I was feeling so beautiful with my last night outfit, hairdo and natural boosty looks. Nice...

BTW: I really miss the smell of a man. Now being 3 years absolutely single that's the thing I really miss. And of course having someone to call and massage every now and then.  SO if you see me sniffing the man in front of me in the buss or rolling in a pile of used towels at the my local gym pls  call the white coated men!

That's why tonight is a perfect night to gain more memories: Nora and Anne are visiting me and tonight Loop is the name of the game. It's again me, Anne, Vilja and the signs of danger...

Update coming shortly.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than than he can think. 

The last few months have been a time of enlightments and heureka moments for me. I moved to London to gain experience, learn more and to find my life path. What I wasn't waiting for was actually the rediscovery of myself as a grown ass woman.  

Today Vilja hinted me about this documentary about misrepresentation of women in the media Miss Representation which to my point of view should be compulsory to watch and analyze in every home/school/hospital/shopping centre etc. I have always tried to fulfill the expectations of the world and others about me. No matter how much I studied different subject and got occasionally good grades, had ideas about politics/news/human rights/philosophy or learned people skill most of the comments I ever got was usually about my looks. 

I think that every woman has faced this situation in their life. They say that beauty is n the eyes of the beholder so why we still give a huge F*** about it? Why women are still valued for their looks? Makes me feel like a some sort of possession! Oddly it's ok for men to get fat, bald and ugly. Actually those things make them even more capable of carrying the wisdom of mankind and the great responsibilities of leader hood. 

Women are brought up with certain sort of expectations. To get married and have babies which is fine when you think about the biological facts but does the society give us the possibilities to choose differently?  The women who choose a career instead of the family are often described to be selfish and bitchy. Some people may want to get married for love and may not find their love or fell in love with their work. Can we blame them for that?! 

The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams.  ~Simone de Beauvoir

Why do we even allow the following sort of saying to even become true?! 

Men get laid, but women get screwed.  ~Quentin Crisp 

Can we assume that the Madonna-Whore complex is getting even more widely spread among my and future generations? There are only two types of women. Good and bad. You marry the good type and fuck to bad type right? If you do any research about behavioral models and human psyche you may learn that human mind is more complex and full of different shades of gray than the simple black and white.  Don't blame the strong minded women like me or feminism if your virginal wife looks comfort and the warmth of a normal human relationship elsewhere when you try to perform in your never never lands logic. 

I do respect women AND men who want to save their virginity for their future companion but I also respect those who want to experience for themselves NOT for the media or expectation the society gives to us. 

What shocked me pretty badly was the rude behavior I got from men in here. And I'm not the only one. I have had a many conversations with a many young woman about the same subject. In a club you easily get rude suggestions and then surprised looks when you react like a self-respecting woman and slap the man on the cheek. If they ask your number and you give it to them, enjoy a little bit of dancing, maybe some kissing BUT DON'T GIVE THAT VERY SAME NIGHT there's no way you going to hear from that man ever again. Same thing if you go to a date and don't give to that guy... you're not going to hear from that man ever again. And if you do decide to give in your a bitch and a bad woman... and if you don't you're a frigid and not worth of their time. I still keep on wondering why on earth these young men behave like this. Has anyone ever taught them any manners? Would they want this kind of things happen to their mothers, sisters, relatives, friends..

Man as a woman you surely feel so respected in this world! This kind of behavior from men isn't that usual in Finland. Yes you icy stubborn homeland: in this matter you definitely get the points! 

But it's not all to blame the men. Yes men are easily mislead about the fancy big cars and lust for power as the greatest things to achieve but the absolute worse is how we women treat each other.

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.  ~Madeleine K. Albright

Stop bitching about the beautiful neighbor/colleague/school mate of yours and admire her devotion to the looks 'cos she must work hard for that. How about that skinny tall blond girl who has as thick hair as a lion? Praise her instead of insults!  And the supermodels like Kate Moss and her not 100% perfection but humanity stop making the nasty comments. She's still amazing in my eyes and if I could ever look like her... OMG!

I bet that no-one of us women is 100% confident about ourself and our looks.  

BTW: I have decided one night out to act like young men act towards young women in the clubs and see what will happen. I'll report here in a couple of weeks sweethearts!

MEN! RIGHT OVER HERE!

Because I'm a woman and there fore not to be taken seriously I chose to have a man to reveal the truth to you all. This man knows what he's taking about and says out loud the things what everybody really thinks in the deep corners of their minds. Especially the end part starting from min. 57 forward. 

Enjoy!

Louis C.K. Live at Beacon Theater (2011)

I can't look at my love in the eyes anymore. I'm too scared to even think what my eyes would reveal to him. Instead of telling the truth I keep the smize on my face like nothing has happened or  avoid him by pretending to be busy. The sensation of something squeezing around my heart is getting stronger by every passing day.

He's the one who has alway been on my side. He's the trustworthy companion I need with everything I want. He feels strong and firm in my hands. He would do anything for me and I...

Well. We have been together a long time now and the "wear and tear" is showing. He has become more slow and stubborn in his actions and I can't forgive him from leaving me alone, freezing and crying in -29 cold winter night. 

I've found someone who's happy to be with me. He's quick with his moves and absolutely takes my breath away! He understands the value of quality literature and provided me with for example the Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens and The Master and Margarita (which is btw a pretty shit translation lacking all the cheekiness and beauty of russian literature) all in english because there are still things I need to learn from the language and culture...  He always makes sure that I wont get lost and that I'll make home safely, likes to keep me updated with the daily news and insist that I keep my mind sharp. We even have the same interests. The playlists are pretty much similar and working out routines too... BUT he's always there to challenge me to raise my bar even higher! The best of all: He doesn't need much kind words or heavy petting. He's always ready for me.

True meaning of unconditional love.

If it feels so good it can't be wrong! Right?.. That's why a switched my Ian to Sam.

Isn't he gorgeous?..

BTW: According to Facebook adverts I'm now quite cool normal 25 + young city single BUT expecting a baby? Or why on earth I get pampers etc. other baby adverts?!

Top track on my playlist and the video is worth to watch. P!NK just got her name on my lists of idols. At the gym ou'll be hearing me murmuring the following mantra "J'los abs and bum..Pinks thighs and arms..." .