P for Preparation (And oh so much, much more BUT lets concentrate on the main topic)

1. Super shopping trolley?... CHECK!

2.  Food to keep a small army alive for a month?... CHECK!

3. New bed with a space to keep my sling+pillow combo comfortable while recovering? CHECK!

4. New blinds to admire the beauty of nature while so much in pain that walking around is out of question?... CHECK!

5. All the stuff, clothes etc I need on my reach and not in heavy bags/boxes (below max in 1m height).... CHECK!

6. Reconnecting with the people who sometimes have no idea how big part they play in my life?... CHECK!

On friday evening I headed to a after exam BBQ party to catch up with my ex university colleagues.  Music, laughter and good food's all you need to nurture your body, mind and soul. (Thanks Jaqs for surprising me and bringing the gluten free hamburger stuff with you. They were delicious!) All that relieved exam stress and excitement of it all being history and summer ahead before next year's challenges. I miss all that: coffee breaks in the common room, parties, deep conversations about everything between earth and sky, practice outside practical lectures, falling asleep with your neuroanatomy book next you all stressed out about the next days exam and the teachers and tutors, pains and blessings? I miss all that and more... The time when I had a clear purpose in my life! (Sorry me self-pitying myself again...). Such a family atmosphere!

Guys you can definitely count on me to ask a bit of assistance after my surgery. Thanks to you who offered to help if any help is needed. I really appreciate that.

Saturday work mates for a drink including people I haven't seen for a long time and connecting with the ones I haven't had a change to speak with. Respect the fact that plenty of management from many a stores present. Amazing group of people working under the same roof!

On sunday Lena with her friends gave me a soft landing to finnish language and silly jokes among us women. You can't believe how a dating application Tinder can be handy cheer-up tool and how a delicious cocktail accompanied with a steak dinner can make your day.

Notice: The french drink from the jug. Cyrille there's 

a reason why those small little glass objects called  "a glass"

are on the table! 

How about yesterdays after work drinks that turned out to be the most amazing truth or dare evening with it's Long Island Ice tea pitchers revealing all the little dirty secrets with its "I have never..."-games? Big thanks! Brought so many memories to the surface that I'm still giggling. That's all I needed to get the worries out of my head.

Today my aim was to focus on me myself and I and reach the right state of mind: 

Some gossip magazines for the 

after operation state of mind!

Imagine the time flying at the work and funny enough all the customers being absolutely amazing and no difficult frustrating situations what so ever. I'm not a religious person but slightly superstitious and believe in strange things like omens and gut feelings. Well this is a definite omen that I'll find my way to Finland to recover from the surgery no matter what: One of our vendor's customer service agent was finnish and we had a nice chat in finnish about customers order (who btw happened to be a englishman living in Finland, married to a finnish woman and not only in love with her but with Finland too. He agreed that finnish women definitely are strong and stubborn and admired the beauty of the silence and nature in Finland.That woken up my longing for the sea breeze in the hottest summertime. There's nothing that compares to the hot summer day in Helsinki not only surrounded by the nature but the cool and fresh sea breeze! MmmMMmmmm....). Due to past extra hours spend at work I managed to finish early today and was escorted by the rock classics to the tube. I just love these classic rock guys working with that guitar with humble but totally fantastically skillful touch making my day. 

Of course I also made a phone call to Finland to inform my dad and brother what's going on. Dad got so excited of the idea of having me for a longer time period in Finland that his thinking about setting a lock on my bedrooms door. I will be allowed to use the bathroom once a day and otherwise kept behind the locks just to assist the shoulders healing process. Right.... 

After all the preparations I'm not actually surprised to find, yet again,  pieces of me from the floor mixed with tears and pieces of my naive shattered pink spectacles thinking "Wtf?! AGAIN?! Doesn't this rain of shit ever end?!", when I can only blame myself for not listening to my gut feeling when it was screaming to my ear (and apparently I'm literally, or my gut is, 100% right all the time. Look at the Brazil-Germany Football game. HA! I was telling straight from the beginning Germans will do great. Shame I didn't put any money on them...and when Netherlands beats Argentina I'm just going to hysterically laugh and become a sports psychic!).

My past has changed my way of looking at the world today and all I'll do as a response to all that has happened recently is to agree to the following quote:

How people treat you is their karma;how you react is yours.

- Wayne Dyer

When you close one door behind you it always means at least five more doors opening in front of you, right?

After all this I'm ready for tomorrow.... It's only a surgery and meeting up with all of you guys reminded me that I have already gone through so much more and luckily, even thought it sometimes feels like it, I wont be alone.

SO BRING IT ON!